…or 30 DSLR for short.
I found out about this amazing blogging opportunity through one of my favorite blogs, who pointed me in the direction of the originator of this concept, Tina at Faith, Fitness, Fun.
The point of this is to take 5 minutes a day to reflect upon a daily reflection post which will ask the participant to take a good look at themselves, and to inevitably come to the conclusion that they are a worthy and admirable person. Everyone struggles with self doubt and low self esteem, even if only occasionally. This movement has struck me personally as something that I need to do because it’s something that I struggle with every day. So I will be participating in this. And hopefully, throughout the course of these next 30 days it will bring me some inner peace that I desperately need.
So, to kick it off, here is the topic for September 1.
CONFIDENCE.
Paraphrased from Faith, Fitness, Fun:
Confidence is one quality that we all strive for. It makes us feel and look beautiful and strong, but it’s very hard to achieve. We come up with excuses on why we don’t deserve to be confident, or fail to see our amazing qualities as something to be confident about. But our individual strengths and qualities should be shown, should be celebrated, because they are what make each of us unique and individual. Our strengths, not weaknesses, are what define us.
“You are stronger than you think. You may not believe so, but you have the power to change everything.”
Reflect on confidence and what you have to offer. What do you have to be confident about?
This subject is especially relevant for me, because this past weekend Matt and I sat down with one of our pastors to talk about our upcoming wedding ceremony and to talk about our relationship. Throughout the course of our discussion, it was brought to light that my ongoing issue with confidence is making a negative impact upon our current relationship.
There are many reasons that I have to justify my lack of confidence, the biggest one being my somewhat tumultuous childhood. I have held on to those feelings of anger and helplessness for so long that they have transformed into resentment and a severe lack of confidence. I’ve always believed that the denial of an opinion and the removal of any opportunity to voice my feelings has led me to this place. I never learned how to express myself, in either a positive or negative manner. I’ve developed, and maintained, a drastic defense mechanism, that requires me to shut myself off from any feeling and hide when I’m presented with any hint of frustration or conflict. It’s something that I’ve lived with and something that I’ve hated about myself for a very long time.
Talking openly about these issues last week have really given me pause for thought. The most important thing in the world to me right now is creating and maintaining a healthy and successful relationship with my soon-to-be husband. I need to proclaim, to myself, that the past is in the past, the present and the future are most important. I don’t have to be held down by this archaic defense mechanism. I can allow myself to be vulnerable, because I so completely trust the one I’m vulnerable with.
So today I am declaring, on this blog that only I read, that I am a confident and worthy person. I am worthy of confidence, and love, and trust. I am a good person, I love another person with all of my heart and soul, I allow myself to be vulnerable with him, I allow him to love me fully. In addition, I believe that I am a fair writer, and baker, and graphic designer. I know a lot about baseball, which is something I’m particularly proud of. I am a cat owner, a sister, a daughter, a best friend, a cousin, a granddaughter, an almost wife. A future mother. I love the people in my life with everything that I have. And I try my best to love the people that I do not know, and the people that are hard to love.
And so that I’m not rambling on indefinitely, I will leave you know with some quotes to reflect upon, provided by Tina at Faith, Fitness, and Fun:
It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. ~Author Unknown
We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. ~Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive
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